New site

My new site about working from home and being a parent is online!
Part of it is under construction but I believe it's already worth a visit.
Check it out at http://www.businessanddiapers.com
and let me know what you think, what's missing, what you like or dislike about it...

Life

To-day I went to the museum with a new friend/acqaintance/colleague of mine, her daughter and my son. It was great to leave the deadlines behind and to enjoy a day off, chatting away, enjoying ourselves. She's a remarkable woman.

All too often working from home means being home-bound. Being there mainly means being there for the computer. It's a tough job for my new friend and I to remind ourselves that the well-known saying "nobody says on their deathbed 'I wish I had spent more time at the office'" is also applicable to the home office.
The nice thing about getting older is that I am finding it a lot less difficult than I used to.

"I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me." (Herman Hesse)

I don't know how she does it

Sometimes I wonder how we mums manage. To take care of our kids and our finances. Of our partners and friends. Of the housekeeping and the gardening. How we keep fit and in touch.
Fact is...many of us don't manage. I, for one, am always running behind in several departments. Sometimes business is good, but I don't pay Thomas enough attention. Sometimes I spend a lot of time keeping house, but have no time to socialize, at other times I see a lot of friends, but the house looks like it has been bombed. Reading about other mums who are not quite able to cope helps put things into perspective. That's why I recommend Allison Pearson's book 'I don't know how she does it' to any mum who has her moments of doubt and pain.

Straight from the heart

Why would I tell you about my day yesterday?
How I finally understood what my friend Madeleine has been telling me for years, that tasks such as housekeeping can be enjoyable. Everything worth doing, is worth doing well.
How I finally found someone I can trust with the small tasks that need to be done in this old, almost derelict house of mine I love so well.
How I felt my heart would overflow, many times. When the twins Lara and Julie came by. Two years old. Real sunshine, those kids. Which was welcome, as it was particularly misty.
How lovely it was to introduce them to my mother and stepfather and to see my three year old's nephew's startled reaction when he saw those two...and how sweet Thomas is to them. And how kind their mom is.
How I had an open conversation with my friend Gurli Feilberg (www.feilberg.nl), a remarkable person. A remarkable artist. And last but definitely not least, a remarkable mom.
How the mist hid the church towers from view and spring seemed suddenly so very far away.
How Thomas, in spite of his age (ten), climbed on my lap and whispered '" I've always wanted to ask...what kind of music did you like, you know, way back...when you were young." And how he shuddered slightly when I admitted I liked ABBA in those days (he's into metal).
How I took a long bath in the evening and washed my troubles away (as it had not only been plain sailing, and calls, messages and deadlines had generated quite some stress).
How I stood near Thomas' bed while he was sleeping, and said 'I love you' because I believe this has a positive impact, subconsciously. Because I want him to feel loved.
How the moon was a mere sliver. And how quiet it was, here, in town.
And how the night covered us in its cloak of darkness and peace.

Money matters

There is something about me and money. Earning money is challenging enough, but spending it wisely (and keeping some apart) is even a bigger issue. At lunch to-day, Koen, a friend of mine said: "there are two things that have a huge impact on my temper: lack of sleep and lack of money." I know what it feels like. And though lack of sleep comes with the territory of (single) working motherhood, lack of money is not a necessity. I know other single entrepreneurial moms who manage their money and do not encounter problems in that field, although they don't necessarily earn more than I do.
At the moment I am rereading an interesting book on the subject: 'Your money or your life' by Joe Domingez. Well worth reading. One of the key items in the book is that people tend to see money as separate from their lives, whereas it is a part of life.
The aim is to get to the point where, if someone was to say: 'your money or your life', you answer 'I'll take both, thank you.'

Raising boys

'Raising boys' is the title of a book by Steve Biddulph. Highly recommended!

My son Thomas is at the stage where he is educating me, instead of the other way round.
As he is becoming increasingly independent, I asked him 'How would you feel if I went to the gym for one or two hours in the weekend?', adding 'as you're such a big boy now' (turning the question into a decidedly 'leading question').
Thomas did not hesitate for one second. His reply was clear: 'I wouldn't like it at all, that's not cosy, I don't want it.' When he saw my disappointed face he said: 'well, mom, if you don't want something, you should not ask it.'
Right, I'll try to remember that.

Cabo Polonio

Photograph by M Isarrualde

The last few days I haven't been online.

It was nice to be away from the computer for a few days. Enjoyed a dinner party with girl-friends, a lot of time with Thomas. And a lot of plain laziness.

Got rid of my to-do lists, ignored the chaos on my desk (which has, predictably, piled up again), ignored the dishes as well. Made the most of these sunny days. It's as if spring has started already.

Been daydreaming a lot, about Cabo Polonio for instance, a place that I have never visited. But the pictures I have seen are simply mesmerizing. Have a look at http://www.cabopolonio.com/ if you're interested.

For just plain being, Cabo Polonio seems ideal to me. While I'm saving money for a trip to my dream place, there is nothing to stop me from just being now and then, even amidst the urban jungle. Thomas enjoys it a lot too and has been chatting to me about all sorts of stuff, ranging from basket ball to music, from girls he likes to what he'd like to become when he's an adult.

And now it's time to slowly but surely get ready for the weekly routine again.