A Small Act. A single gesture. Limitless possibilities

Yesterday evening, my new friend/acquaintance/mother of one of my son's friends, the artist Anat Ratzabi took me to a Connecting Women-meeting .

It was a truly enjoyable evening,with the focus on a documentary we watched together: A Small Act. A single gesture. Limitless possibilities.
This film shows us how the destinity of a poverty-stricken Kenyan boy changed through the donations of a Swedish woman. She put him through school and high school and education changed his life. Now a grown-up man, he is giving something back. He has created a foundation, named after his benefactor, in order to help poor Kenyan children receive an education.

This moving story shows us that small gestures do count, do help, do make a difference. This story is also a compelling case for doing something for others, for reaching out, for keeping an open mind and for thinking of what we can give others rather than of what we can take.

Since yesterday evening I have not, I am sorry to say, made a major contribution to the world becoming a better place. I have, however, spent a little less on my groceries so that I could give money to the homeless guy on the corner selling a paper and to a girl collecting money for charity. Very small gestures, admittedly, but I hope to be able to make many more.

Raising kids

In what I believe was the first series of Desperate Housewives we could see Lynette, struggling with motherhood. She looked exhausted whilst doing the groceries, with her twins in tow. She secretly yearned for the life she had before the kids, as a career woman. But,on meeting an acquaintance, she put a smile on her face and said 'motherhood is the best job in the world', or words to that effect.

Well, motherhood sometimes feels like a job. And then again, it doesn't. It takes energy but also gives energy. It's not something you do from nine to five but more of a 24/7 effort.

It's endlessly challenging and rewarding, at any rate. When my son is acting up, it's almost always because I am behaving badly. Children are a mirror in a sense. It's no easy task to keep oneself under control, to be a good example. To provide children with a sense of stability and to make them feel loved.

As my friend Martine always says: "raising children is the toughest thing on earth."
And I guess that's what Lynette meant to say...

In his shoes

Last week I had this weird experience. I was asked to translate for a civil law notary in the morning and in the afternoon. As travelling back and forth made no sense I asked whether it was alright if I spent the time in between the assignments at the notary's firm. This was fine. He even let me use his own desk and said 'then you can pretend to be a notary for a day'.

I tried. It was nice to be among beautiful things: a leather desk top, beautiful drawings on the wall, chic accessories and stationery wherever I looked. But at the end of the day life is all about people and not about things. The only moment in which I really enjoyed being in the notary's shoes was when the man himself entered the room at lunch time with a piece of cake he had fetched at home 'here you go, then you have something to eat.'

Guess there are days in which one can have one's cake and eat it.

Recommended

Sometimes I am amazed at all the wonderful information to be found on the Internet. We have the world at our fingertips, in the comfort of our own home. In that sense the world has changed dramatically over the last few decades.

A few recommendations as far as starting your home business is concerned:

http://www.homeinternet-business.com
http://www.homeinternet-business.com/blog/

Have a look for yourself.

Bye for now, I have taken a day off, my parents are coming to dinner and I want the house to be clean and the food to be good. These things can take up considerable time and it's wonderful not having to rush...

Drawing, painting

Happiness is not always where we expect it to be. Not that I am an expert at where contentment is to be found exactly, more's the pity. What I do know by now is that it's vital to use all we've got: our brains and our bodies, our emotions and our rational thoughts.

Doing things with my hands often gives me great satisfaction. Every day I spend at least half an hour drawing, painting, making a collage or whatever. The results vary, to be frank, but it's a lovely way of relaxing which leaves me much happier than, say, watch a silly soap on TV....It's nice to be busy with my hands instead of thinking hard, it's great to work with images instead of with words. It's a way of unwinding that I can highly recommend. We humans are increasingly becoming like machines, in my view, spending eternities on the computer and in front of our TV sets, but there is always a way back.

Anna Johson is our new mom of the month

Photograph by Holly McCauley
During the past months I have shamefully neglected myself AND my sites & blogs. Events in my private life were so consuming that I barely managed to get to grips with the basics.

However, these last few weeks I've landed back on my feet. Bye bye tears, hello computer. In the process of 'recovery' I have reread Anna Johnson's books: both the one about Three Black Skirts and the YUMMYMUMMYMANIFESTO. I love her writing.Witty, rich and evocative. And it rings true. Her illustrations, too, are truly enjoyable and I often visit Anna's site to read her blog. I am very happy that Anna is the new mom of the month on my website. She is currently editing her new book: SAVVY CHIC: THE ART OF MORE FOR LESS and taking care of her son Cello.

It might be a bit strange at my age (I am 42!)but Anna is a role model to me. I have actually put up a picture of her and Marcello in my study, to motivate me on days like to-day when the weather is foul, Thomas is struggling with being an adolescent and I have trouble with well..being myself.

One bit of advice Anna gives work-at-home moms to be is: GET RID OF YOUR TV!
Not watching TV makes you save huge amounts of time and enables you to enjoy other stuff, like listening to classical music. Anna definitely has a point. Many of my friends ask me where I find the time for juggling work, single motherhood, arts and crafs,other people's children, writing, my blogs...but those friends easily spend three hours a day in front of their TV-set. That's a staggering 21 hours a week! No wonder they are always pressed for time.

For more on Anna, check out

Reality check

Self-pity is a trap I easily fall into. There are days in which I constantly feel sorry for myself: my nose is too long, the amount of money on my bank account too small, the weather is foul, my friends nowhere to be found and my love life miserable. The heating does not work as it should, nor does the computer. Complain, complain, complain is all I do. And, to be fair to myself, I am not the only one.

Life, though, has a way of making people see things in perspective. To-day offered me various opportunities. This morning I was asked, for instance, to translate a document for Haïti. It was about turning a family car into a shelter. Very practical instructions but heartbreaking nonetheless. Here I am worrying about mortgages and perhaps having to move to a smaller place. Well, odds are whatever place that might be will be larger than a car! This afternoon I helped a private individual from Iraq fill out a form. Well, I helped in the sense that I translated the questions. The man clearly felt rather uneasy about the time he had spent in military service in the late eighties. The endless list of questions made him angry. "You people do not understand. We had no choice. If you failed to show up for three days you got shot and your parents had to pay for the bullet." All my legal arguments (e.g. that one of the reasons for all those questions is the wish to collect a body of evidence so that culprits can be prosecuted) are meaningless during moments like those. They do not help.

The only positive outcome of these clashes with harsh realities is that they put a stop to indulging in self-pity. And pave the way for a far more positive attitude.