merry christmas to all the drunks

To be brutally frank about it: my sister Florine is a tough cookie. However, she definitely has her soft spots, her moments of tenderness and her mellow moods. She is, above all, a creative person. Recently she came back from a walk through the woods (Haagse Bos) with a determined look in her eye and ....old cans in her hands. She made a Christmas tree for all the drunks, the lost souls and the homeless who wander through these woods.

My son

A Small Act. A single gesture. Limitless possibilities

Yesterday evening, my new friend/acquaintance/mother of one of my son's friends, the artist Anat Ratzabi took me to a Connecting Women-meeting .

It was a truly enjoyable evening,with the focus on a documentary we watched together: A Small Act. A single gesture. Limitless possibilities.
This film shows us how the destinity of a poverty-stricken Kenyan boy changed through the donations of a Swedish woman. She put him through school and high school and education changed his life. Now a grown-up man, he is giving something back. He has created a foundation, named after his benefactor, in order to help poor Kenyan children receive an education.

This moving story shows us that small gestures do count, do help, do make a difference. This story is also a compelling case for doing something for others, for reaching out, for keeping an open mind and for thinking of what we can give others rather than of what we can take.

Since yesterday evening I have not, I am sorry to say, made a major contribution to the world becoming a better place. I have, however, spent a little less on my groceries so that I could give money to the homeless guy on the corner selling a paper and to a girl collecting money for charity. Very small gestures, admittedly, but I hope to be able to make many more.

Raising kids

In what I believe was the first series of Desperate Housewives we could see Lynette, struggling with motherhood. She looked exhausted whilst doing the groceries, with her twins in tow. She secretly yearned for the life she had before the kids, as a career woman. But,on meeting an acquaintance, she put a smile on her face and said 'motherhood is the best job in the world', or words to that effect.

Well, motherhood sometimes feels like a job. And then again, it doesn't. It takes energy but also gives energy. It's not something you do from nine to five but more of a 24/7 effort.

It's endlessly challenging and rewarding, at any rate. When my son is acting up, it's almost always because I am behaving badly. Children are a mirror in a sense. It's no easy task to keep oneself under control, to be a good example. To provide children with a sense of stability and to make them feel loved.

As my friend Martine always says: "raising children is the toughest thing on earth."
And I guess that's what Lynette meant to say...

In his shoes

Last week I had this weird experience. I was asked to translate for a civil law notary in the morning and in the afternoon. As travelling back and forth made no sense I asked whether it was alright if I spent the time in between the assignments at the notary's firm. This was fine. He even let me use his own desk and said 'then you can pretend to be a notary for a day'.

I tried. It was nice to be among beautiful things: a leather desk top, beautiful drawings on the wall, chic accessories and stationery wherever I looked. But at the end of the day life is all about people and not about things. The only moment in which I really enjoyed being in the notary's shoes was when the man himself entered the room at lunch time with a piece of cake he had fetched at home 'here you go, then you have something to eat.'

Guess there are days in which one can have one's cake and eat it.

Recommended

Sometimes I am amazed at all the wonderful information to be found on the Internet. We have the world at our fingertips, in the comfort of our own home. In that sense the world has changed dramatically over the last few decades.

A few recommendations as far as starting your home business is concerned:

http://www.homeinternet-business.com
http://www.homeinternet-business.com/blog/

Have a look for yourself.

Bye for now, I have taken a day off, my parents are coming to dinner and I want the house to be clean and the food to be good. These things can take up considerable time and it's wonderful not having to rush...

Drawing, painting

Happiness is not always where we expect it to be. Not that I am an expert at where contentment is to be found exactly, more's the pity. What I do know by now is that it's vital to use all we've got: our brains and our bodies, our emotions and our rational thoughts.

Doing things with my hands often gives me great satisfaction. Every day I spend at least half an hour drawing, painting, making a collage or whatever. The results vary, to be frank, but it's a lovely way of relaxing which leaves me much happier than, say, watch a silly soap on TV....It's nice to be busy with my hands instead of thinking hard, it's great to work with images instead of with words. It's a way of unwinding that I can highly recommend. We humans are increasingly becoming like machines, in my view, spending eternities on the computer and in front of our TV sets, but there is always a way back.

Anna Johson is our new mom of the month

Photograph by Holly McCauley
During the past months I have shamefully neglected myself AND my sites & blogs. Events in my private life were so consuming that I barely managed to get to grips with the basics.

However, these last few weeks I've landed back on my feet. Bye bye tears, hello computer. In the process of 'recovery' I have reread Anna Johnson's books: both the one about Three Black Skirts and the YUMMYMUMMYMANIFESTO. I love her writing.Witty, rich and evocative. And it rings true. Her illustrations, too, are truly enjoyable and I often visit Anna's site to read her blog. I am very happy that Anna is the new mom of the month on my website. She is currently editing her new book: SAVVY CHIC: THE ART OF MORE FOR LESS and taking care of her son Cello.

It might be a bit strange at my age (I am 42!)but Anna is a role model to me. I have actually put up a picture of her and Marcello in my study, to motivate me on days like to-day when the weather is foul, Thomas is struggling with being an adolescent and I have trouble with well..being myself.

One bit of advice Anna gives work-at-home moms to be is: GET RID OF YOUR TV!
Not watching TV makes you save huge amounts of time and enables you to enjoy other stuff, like listening to classical music. Anna definitely has a point. Many of my friends ask me where I find the time for juggling work, single motherhood, arts and crafs,other people's children, writing, my blogs...but those friends easily spend three hours a day in front of their TV-set. That's a staggering 21 hours a week! No wonder they are always pressed for time.

For more on Anna, check out

Reality check

Self-pity is a trap I easily fall into. There are days in which I constantly feel sorry for myself: my nose is too long, the amount of money on my bank account too small, the weather is foul, my friends nowhere to be found and my love life miserable. The heating does not work as it should, nor does the computer. Complain, complain, complain is all I do. And, to be fair to myself, I am not the only one.

Life, though, has a way of making people see things in perspective. To-day offered me various opportunities. This morning I was asked, for instance, to translate a document for Haïti. It was about turning a family car into a shelter. Very practical instructions but heartbreaking nonetheless. Here I am worrying about mortgages and perhaps having to move to a smaller place. Well, odds are whatever place that might be will be larger than a car! This afternoon I helped a private individual from Iraq fill out a form. Well, I helped in the sense that I translated the questions. The man clearly felt rather uneasy about the time he had spent in military service in the late eighties. The endless list of questions made him angry. "You people do not understand. We had no choice. If you failed to show up for three days you got shot and your parents had to pay for the bullet." All my legal arguments (e.g. that one of the reasons for all those questions is the wish to collect a body of evidence so that culprits can be prosecuted) are meaningless during moments like those. They do not help.

The only positive outcome of these clashes with harsh realities is that they put a stop to indulging in self-pity. And pave the way for a far more positive attitude.

interpreting in real estate transactions

In the Netherlands it is mandatory to have an interpreter present when real estate is purchased and one of the parties has no or little understanding of the Dutch language.
This has become one of my specialisms, both because I truly find it interesting and important that individuals get the right information and understand what they are signing and because it provides me with the kind of assignment that I can easily combine with single motherhood.

Usually the contact between the person(s) purchasing real estate and myself is very positive. I often meet them in the waiting-room, try to make them feel at ease...

People are not always happy about the need for an interpreter, though, as this comes with a cost. Not so long ago there was someone who had strongly objected to the presence of an interpreter. The notary had explained that this was mandatory, that the absence of an interpreter could render the deed (and the transaction!)invalid and that the aim of having a professional translate every word was to protect the client. None of this had helped. I put my two cents in by telling the man in question: "and really, this is not the kind of assignment that makes me much richer" (a bit of a silly remark). His answer made me smile "well, it does make me a little bit poorer."

Leonard Cohen

When I feel the blues coming on (and God knows that happens on a regular basis) I try to beat them by wearing something colourful, by taking a long hot bath, by reading poetry or by visiting friends who are good for my soul.

Music helps too. When gentle melancholy is welcome I listen to Leonard Cohen. I love his lyrics. And his attitude:
"This being human is a guest-house. Each day a new arrival. Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, treat every guest with respect."

happiness

Happiness...will we ever stop looking for it? Trying to unravel its mysteries?

It's a fascinating subject. Always has been, always will be.

I recommend taking a look at Gretchen Rubin's site:


There are many things I'd like to mention here on the very subject of happiness but that would mean spending too much time on the computer and would ultimately be detrimental to...my own happiness. So I am leaving it here for to-day. Live and learn, live and learn...

Anna Johnson Three Black Skirts

In this day and age it's hard to admit but I absolutely adore books. Though my friends -notably the younger ones- are reading less than they used to and constantly refer to the Internet I am enjoying books even more than I did in the past. I was a bit of a snob in my young years and started reading Proust when I was twelve. Admittedly there are worse things a twelve year-old can get up to but growing older has considerably broadened my taste. In times of restlessness I used to read glossy magazines. I still do sometimes but do not always find satisfaction when doing so. In my case the solution turned out to be poetry. At the moment I am reading Paroles, by Jacques Prévert. Over the years I have also grown to love 'how to-books'. They have a bad reputation and I think that's plain silly. Nobody likes to be told what to do and that might explain it but these books are generally not meant to dictate one way of life (or cooking method or accounting principles or time management rules) but are meant to help.

I particularly like Anna Johnson's books. Both in 'Three black skirts' and in 'The Yummy Mummy Manifesto' the tone is light. She does not pretend that she knows everything -quite to the contrary, she is funny, realistic and modest-and there is no moralistic tone in anything she writes. Her writing is funny and to the point. I find it easy to relate to her writing and this, in turn, helps to put in practice some of her pointers. She is witty and practical and, what I like above all, determined to be positive about things. Both her books have wonderful illustrations (the drawings are from Anna herself) and to me that's important.

So...if you can get hold of 'three black skirts'....by all means do!
And of course the Yummy Mummy Manifesto is recommended. I've found it's also a nice gift for mothers to be or young mothers.

And now I am going to tear myself away from the computer (which tends to take up too much of my time and energy) and do things that Anna might do on a Sunday afternoon, such as potter about in the house, take a long hot bath with aromatic oil, take a walk in the snow. Life is too short to waste it.

Back on track

Yes, I know, I've been gone. Long. Too long perhaps,but then again...that demon life had caught me in its spell, to quote the Stones...

Lately, all my time and energy were required for taking care of my son Thomas, earning a living and keeping in touch with a small group of friends and relatives I love dearly...all the extra's had to go, including sports and updating my site(s) and blog(s).

But I am back now. With new energy and lots of ideas. For instance...I'd like to spend more time writing about the combination of raising adolescents and having one's own (home) business. Thomas is now twelve, he goes to secondary school. On the one hand, combining work and motherhood is easier than it was when he was smaller. The perks: he can be alone at home for a few hours if I have an assignment that takes me away from home. Moreover, he understands that I have to make money (which used to be a bit of an 'abstract' concept for him, but has now become tangible).
However, his school days are -if anything-shorter than they used to be when he was in primary school. More unpredictable, too, as lessons are prone to be cancelled at the last minute. This means that I now find myself sometimes struggling to concentrate on a legal text while attempting to shut out the noise of my son and his friends covering Nirvana-songs. Not an easy thing to do, I can tell you. And when I go to the kitchen, looking for some comfort food, I often find that only the wrapping is left...a bit distressing.

And I am quite lucky, as I can do most of my work at home and only have one adolescent to deal with. How do other parents cope? Any advice, handy hints? In that case, they are most welcome at my e-mailaddress vertaalslag@planet.nl

A reminder of the sites I have:
www.businessanddiapers.com (English), connected to this blog
www.thuiswerkmamas.nl (Dutch), also with its own blog
www.vertaalslag.net (in Dutch, French and English).